In her new book, Envy, Stacy Kim explains how to understand the feeling, identify your deeper desires and use them to achieve your goals

In the 16th-century poem The Faerie Queene, envy is a ghoulish figure riding a ravenous wolf, sad to see the fortune of others and “wonderous glad” of their hardship. It’s not a flattering depiction; better to be thankful for what we have, rather than dwell on such a bitter and self-destructive feeling, right?

Maybe not. “I think that when we don’t examine our envy, that’s when it leads us astray,” says Dr Stacy Kim, social scientist, life coach and author of the new book Envy: Why Wanting What They Have is the Key to Getting What You Want. Kim wrote the book after seeing the way envy came up for her coaching clients and reflecting on the role it had in her own life. The book is informed by social science and philosophy research, as well as her personal and professional experiences.

Similar target: “You remind yourself: ‘Hey, the reason why I’m feeling this envy is because what I want is within my reach,’” she says.

Intangible desire, as mentioned above

Relevant comparison: Identify which specific domain – something you care about or already participate in – is relevant to your desires

Negative emotion: How long does it last? How intense is the message it’s sending? This tells us how important the feeling is.

Envy by Stacy S. Kim is out now. To support the Guardian, order your copy of the UK edition at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.

Before being rescued, he had an extremely traumatic experience. You’d never know it though, from the joy his patience and sunny nature bring to those who most need him

In December 2024, my kerry blue terrier, Magnus, died suddenly from a stroke at the age of nine. Devastated, I started looking at rescue dogs on Facebook and came across Clement, who was being looked after by a shelter in Romania. It wasn’t his appearance that caught my attention, but his heartbreaking story.

An eight-year-old mixed-breed rescue, Clement had spent most of his life with a woman living with Alzheimer’s. One day, she accidentally let him out. He was hit by a car, attacked by two large dogs and left in a ditch for three days in the snow before being rescued by chance. When I read this, I knew I had to take him in.

Faced with a stagnant jobs market, many are spurning children or pets in favour of ‘raising bricks’

Young adults in China looking for a cheaper, low-maintenance alternative to having children or pets have found an answer: raising bricks.

Bricks may not be as cuddly as cats or as life-affirming as human offspring, but they also cost next to nothing. “No cats, no dating, I started raising a brick,” wrote one brick parent on social media.